We all have struggles, whether we overcome them or not is up to us.
This is a story about Esther, the young Christian virgin who found pleasure in a dark place. Esther was a bible believing, Holy Ghost filled, tongues speaking Christian. She was a 100 level student in a reputable University and still quite naive about the ways of the world. Esther found the attention of the young boys thrilling and even more than that was the freedom she had to make her own choices.
Esther’s aunt got her a new phone as a present and this babe quickly downloaded 2go so she could ping. It was fun getting to meet new people and she reveled in their compliments for she had a pretty face. As she continued to explore her treasured social app, she discovered 2go had a flirt zone! Hmm. Sister Esther decided to peek in to observe their operations in that wonderful room. About 2 minutes later, a guy who was a participant in the flirt room sent her a friend request. Meanwhile Esther was already speaking in tongues as she saw erotic pictures uploaded by the 2go users in the flirt zone.
She accepted the guy, and the first thing the guy said is “I will f*** you till you come”. Come fire! Esther attempted to counsel this guy. People had told her she would make a fine counselor. Well, she was going to find out if there was a measure of truth in their affirmations.
“Good afternoon, my name is Esther. Do you know what you are doing is bad?” Are you a Christian?” Esther would have continued but 2go sent her a message- macho312 had deleted her and she no longer had permission to view his profile.
Esther refused to relent; she had given herself a purpose- to save all of the guys in the flirt zone in the name of Jesus. So she began her sermons in the Flirt zone, all of which fell on deaf ears and earned her insults to her fourth generation. One day, “obinna227” from the chat room added her and sent her a picture of his erected penis.
The guy started “oooooooooohhh” “aaaaaaaahhhhh” “you feel me babe?” Esther didn’t delete him o, she wanted to see where this was headed to. The guy sent her more pictures and pictures of naked girls too. Esther was patiently watching but her body had begun to change.
“C’mon babe, say something”, her chat partner passionately pleaded.
“What am I supposed to say?” Esther asked.
The guy obviously lost in his own imagination continued “oohing and aaaahing”. Esther started “oohing and aaaahing” without knowing the reason for the “ooohs and aaahs”.
“Send me a picture of your c*** babe, I want to see it when I come”
Esther got scared and quickly deleted him. She was feeling strange all over. Obinna227 refused to give up, she re-sent an invite. Esther accepted. He sent her more pictures. That was Esther’s introduction to the world of masturbation.
It didn’t happen there, but over time, Esther accepted more requests, received more images and before she could stop herself, she started sending images too. At first, she sent the pictures she had received from one to another, and then she progressed and started sending pictures of herself.
Esther’s friends began to recommend porn sites for her, at first she was reluctant, but after a while, she decided to give it a try. Her pillow became her new best friend. With it, she practiced all that she had been learning. While holding her pillow strategically, all the while lying naked in her rented apartment, she would conjure up the scenes she had seen and the images she had received, and drive herself to pleasure.
The first time she masturbated, she was stunned to know such immense pleasure existed in the world! So, this is what the forbidden fruit tastes like! It was ecstatic for her, she was satisfied. After her 2 minutes of pleasure however, she hated herself for indulging in what she believed was wrong. It had to be wrong; her conscience wouldn’t be so troubled if it weren’t.
So Esther cried bitterly and asked God to forgive her. She promised never to go to the Flirt zone again or download porn. She deleted all the crazy peeps and her peace was restored. The next day, the scenes started replaying themselves in her mind again. Esther felt she was powerless against it, so she locked herself in her room, held her pillow and started her movement. As soon as she was done, she cried all the more bitterly and promised God again- I will not do it again.
Did she stop? No! The next day she continued, and it indeed became her daily circle- Think, Masturbate, Cry, Pray, Promise, and Masturbate. Days rolled into weeks, weeks rolled into months. Esther continued. She deleted and re-downloaded 2go, she fasted and prayed, she studied her bible over and over again, and she kept on masturbating more and more……With time, she got tired of praying, As God no wan come help her nkor, Mschew’…….The Holy Spirit wouldn’t let her be regardless, he kept on convicting her and she pain she felt was almost too much to bear.
To be continued.
This article was first published on MatthewAdedoyin
With the title, “The Dark thoughts always come in the Dark”