Hello Prima Donna!
We’ve noticed that an increasing number of guys are beginning to visit Prima Donnaz Blog, so we thought it’d be great to include them in our activities! Are you excited about it? I am!!! We have titled to this series #A’wonBoyz 🙂 :).
We interviewed Jude Ehiabhilyson– a young, single, diplomat who resides in Lagos, Nigeria– on what things he looked out for in a woman. We loved his response!!! You will too..
Jude: I was chatting with a friend of mine when she mockingly disclosed to me how a guy popped out of nowhere to announce that God had revealed her to be his wife. I was bemused. I was. Not because it sounded new, but I didn’t believe people still use that “God-said” pickup lines. Dear guys, stop that “nansense” already! When you approach a lady that way, you tell me two things: one, you are trying too hard to appeal to her spiritual emotions, which is silly. Two, you don’t seem to know what you want or you are unable to own up to what you want, which is absolutely unmanly. Talking about knowing what you want, I have decided to do a post on what I look out for in my dream BAE ( Before Anyone Else). Let’s go there.
As a believer, spiritual consideration is key. However, I understand that God is not a match-maker. Contrary to that sanctimonious mental bondage people subject themselves to, no one person is God’s will for you in marriage. God won’t match me with someone else to marry. Is it MMM? The last time that happened, Adam blamed God( it’s the woman you gave me…). My spiritual pointer is simple, BAE must be of same FAITH (and believe too(there are dissenting believes in Christianity today)). The biblical instruction is clear: marry whoever you like, so long they are in the Lord (1 Cor. 7:39; Numbers 36 :6) fat or thin; tall or short; introvert or extrovert; village girl or city girl; just make sure they are where? in the lord! While being of same faith is an ironclad rule for me, it doesn’t stand aloof. That isn’t all it takes. I have heard of a couple who claimed they heard from God, from angels and dreams, yet their marriage packed up in 2 years. My point is, in choosing in the lord, I consider other characteristics too. This is where ‘calculations’ and the use if your sense comes in. What do you admire in people?
This takes us to my next pointer. By the way, people that do 21 days fast for God to reveal the name of their wife, accept my condolence. Hope you did that to choose a course when you applied for admission. Hope you did it to chose the job you are doing too. If you didn’t, why marriage? Quit the struggle, and make calculated decisions, you have the mind of Christ! My next pointer would be BEAUTY. Yes, I love beautiful women. Don’t ask me who would marry the ‘worwor’ ones, ask google. When I say beautiful, I am not asking for too much. Just be beautiful in my eyes. Beautiful in my eyes is beyond the facial and hourglass figure(I like them too sha), it is more of appearance and personality. I am not looking for Miss Nigeria, just be fine, even if na small, and have POISE. Have a modest sartorial sense too. These, coupled with a beautiful personality, is true beauty. A times I admire ladies from far, only for me to get close and their ordinariness makes the physical beauty I once saw, flee. BAE should be fine, INSIDE-OUT (uppercase letter for emphasis).
This is the last pointer for this post, and it is suppose to centre on personality . As I try to make a list of the attributes that should make that personality, I write, I erase; I write again, and erase, then my mind whispered to me mockingly, ‘kuku goan buy mud and mould her nah’ LOL. I would be living in fool’s paradise if I am actually expecting a BAE with a perfect personality. Everyone is work in progress, so I like someone that is open to correction and desirous of growth. There’s nothing more harmful than a highly opinionated and narrow minded person. I can’t deal. It stunts growth. Embedded in personality also is Emotional Intelligence (E.I). E.I would tell a BAE when to talk, be silent, be submissive, take charge, cry, laugh, be courageous, be playful, humorous, etal. Just have an endearing personality and be lovable. Period! Mind you, the best way to see this is in her relationship with other people, not with me. Okay, there goes MY pointer to my dream BAE. You can ‘chook’ mouth in the matter and tell me yours too. Now hear this, if I am dating someone that meets these pointers, yet I have a repeated uncertainty and fear, I will quit. I have learnt to trust God’s spirit that way. Don’t be afraid to quit. Like a friend once said, relationship is not secret cult that you will enter and can’t come out again.
We have now come to the end of this post. Let’s share the grace. (What does that even mean sef?) Here we go!